


My never

by karasunotsubasa, kozumeshouyou



Series: Rare Pair Week 2015 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Friends With Benefits, HQ Rarepair Week, M/M, Mutually Unrequited, Smut, TsukiHina friendship, Unrequited Love, or at least they think it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 02:41:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3633672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasunotsubasa/pseuds/karasunotsubasa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kozumeshouyou/pseuds/kozumeshouyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shouyou is in love with his childhood friend, Bokuto. Bokuto is in love with his childhood friend, Shouyou. <br/>Sounds simple? Not really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My never

**Author's Note:**

> day 4 of rare pair week  
> prompt: childhood + unrequited
> 
> a few things before we start:  
> \- bokuto and hina are childhood friends and they've known each other for ages  
> \- they all go to the same school, apart from oikawa, who's still in seijou (the rest of their teams are weirdly absent tho lol)  
> \- bokuto is only a year older than hina bc of reasons  
> \- tsukihina friendship is v important
> 
> and now pls enjoy the angst~

From the window on the other side of the building, one storey lower and slightly off to the right, Shouyou watched his best friend of nearly six years. He bit the straw in his mouth and slurped on the juice box, silent longing and frustration heavy in a sigh that escaped him after he swallowed. Kou was laughing at something and he looked so beautiful, even though Shouyou was too far away to see, he knew his yellow owlish eyes brightened and the sound that echoed around made everyone turn his way with interest and smile back. Shouyou sighed again. Being friends with someone like Kou was a hard deal, but being in love with him was so much more difficult...

"Must you always stare longingly at your boyfriend," Kei grumbled out.

Shouyou caught the end of his friends eye roll as he turned to face Kei.

"I wasn't staring, and he's not my boyfriend," Shouyou mumbled, going back to his lunch.

Kei just scoffed, probably rolling his eyes again, but Shouyou had gone back to looking out the window as he chewed.

"Yeah, and I'm a fairy princess."

Shouyou couldn't help but smile at that imagery, and he turned his mischievous eyes back to Kei's golden ones.

"Is that right. Well no judging, be whatever you want to be, Kei," Shouyou caught the barely distinguishable twitch of Kei's lips, knowing that it was pretty much the same as full blown laughter, but it quickly fell and one of Kei's most menacing glares was directed out the window. Shouyou turned to see what he was looking at, only to have his breath catch in his throat.

"Is- Is he...?" Shouyou's mind was blank as he stared at the very same window he kept looking at for the fast few minutes.

Bokuto was still there alright, but now there was someone else by his side - someone who was way too close, way too familiar with him, someone—

"He is," Kei agreed, disgust colouring his voice.

—kissing Bokuto right on the lips.

Shouyou stared blankly at the scene in front of him, desperately begging that Bokuto would just push the other guy, Kuroo, Shouyou realized, one of Bokuto's classmates, away. Laugh it off, punch him, anything. None of that happened and Shouyou's eyes began to blur as he watched Bokuto pull Kuroo closer instead.

"Shouyou."

Kei pulled him out of his trance, tugging on his chin until he was looking into worried gold eyes, and then the dam that had been holding back his tears broke, and he was sobbing, trying so hard to breathe, but all he could manage were short hiccupping gasps. Kei lead him out of the room, holding Shouyou's shaking hand tight in one of his own. Shouyou could only make it to the stairwell before his legs gave out under him. Kei didn't say anything, just sat down next to him on the steps. He didn't put his arm around Shouyou or offer any comforting words, but he didn't let go of his hand, and Shouyou was grateful. Shouyou clutched at his pant leg with his free hand as he watched tears drop onto them through blurred eyes.

"Bokuto likes guys," Shouyou laughed hollowly. "Just not me."

"It's his loss," Kei said, shifting a little until his arm was right against Shouyou's, offering silent support and comfort. "Don't let him break you, he's not worth it."

Shouyou laughed again, bitter.

"What would you do if you saw Yamaguchi kissing someone else?" he asked, turning his tearful eyes to Kei, and wiping his nose with the back of his free hand. "It's not that easy... I would have gotten over him already if it was," Shouyou squeezed Kei's hand a little and then pulled back, hiding his face in his knees and covering his head with his arms to muffle the sobs that wrecked his body.

He was shocked, he was hurt, but most of all... he felt betrayed. He watched Kou for years, he's been there for him through high and low, supported him, laughed with him, cried with him. There were times when he wanted to just... stop. To break off their friendship and just leave, forget about these ugly feelings clawing at his heart every time Kou was around.

But he never did.

He stayed, telling himself that it was okay, it was alright to be a little selfish. He knew he couldn't have Kou no matter what, since the other was straight, and somewhere deep inside Shouyou got used to that thought. Yet this, seeing Kou with another guy? After all the years he spent trying to fool his heart into giving up...

Shouyou bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, cold sweat chilling all the warmth out of his body. He just wasn't good enough...

"Come on," Kei said, standing up and offering his hand, which Shouyou took, raising his eyebrows in question. "It's not like I can take you back to class now. People will think I made you cry again."

Shouyou laughed slightly at that. "Those were tears of frustration. You were an ass when we first met," Shouyou stated, voice hoarse and gravelly.

"I'm still an ass," Kei grumbled out, seemingly indignant about Shouyou's comment.

"That's true," Shouyou hummed in agreement. "Guess I just got used to it."

Kei rolled his eyes but kept walking, making his way down the hallway, Shouyou following by his side, not really caring about where they were going. When they got to the front office, Kei told Shouyou to wait while he went in and a few moments later he came back out.

"We're leaving."

Hinata's eyebrow rose a the statement. "Leaving?"

Kei just nodded and made his way towards the main exit, Shouyou who had paused in confusion quickly ran to catch up. As he reached Kei, the door suddenly slammed open and he was face to face with a smiling Kou hand in hand with Kuroo. Kei quickly stepped in front of him, but it was too late, Shouyou couldn't keep in the tears that had finally stopped, and Kou's smile fell as soon as he spotted Shouyou.

"Shou?" Shouyou noticed how Kou's eyes widened in horrified surprise. "What happened?"

His childhood friend looked from him to Kei and back, confusion and worry painted across his face. Kuroo, who was standing to the side, frowned. Kei was already opening his mouth to reply when Shouyou stepped in, pulling all of his strength together and forcing on a smile.

"It's nothing," he said, shaking his head. The tears didn't want to stop falling. "Really!"

"It's clearly something when you're crying like this!" Shouyou watched with dread as Kou came closer. "Tell me what happened, did someone bully you? Did you drop your lunch? Are you feeling sick?"

Kou reached out a hand to touch him, and Shouyou couldn't really help the sudden flinch that he quickly tried to mask with a step back. It didn't work though, Kou had seen it.

"That is enough, Bokuto-san." Shouyou breathed a small sigh of relief at Kei's voice, and suddenly his friend's back appeared before him, blocking Kou from view. "I'm taking Shouyou home, he'll be fine with me."

Shouyou tried to wipe away the tears, but couldn't. Kou was still worried about him. He still cared.

But not enough. Never enough.

Pain stung at his chest again.

"That's not necessary, I can take him home," Kou said, sounding worried, he attempted to look around Kei at Shouyou, but Shouyou reached out, grabbing hold of Kei's sweater and burying his face into it.

"I already told the teachers I would take him home," Kei bit out.

Shouyou could tell his patience was running thin by the tone of his voice, and not wanting anything to happen, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and stepped out from behind Kei, right into Kou's line of vision.

"I'm fine, really, Kou. Kei can take me home, you shouldn't miss your classes." Shouyou's voice came out gravelly, but he was glad he hadn't started crying when he met Kou's eyes.

It was going to be hard having to look into them every day and knowing that they'd never look at him with the same love that Kuroo got to see.

"Well, that's settled then," Kei stated, pushing past Kou and Kuroo, making his way outside.

Shouyou flashed a small smile in Kou's direction, and nodded to Kuroo who just cocked his head to the side, as if Shouyou was a math problem and Kuroo was trying to find the solution. Shouyou didn't like the analyzing gaze, so he quickly followed after Kei.

 

* * *

 

Shouyou completely forgot about the practice match they were supposed to have with Aobajousai, until he entered the changing room the next day. Everyone was excited, chattering away the time that should be spent on warming up. The captain announced that Seijou would be there in half an hour, and then they started practice.

To be honest, it was one of the few times - and Shouyou could count them all on the fingers of only one hand - that Shouyou didn't feel like playing volleyball. It was strange, he loved the sport, but his feelings for Kou... It was hard watching his friend hoot around the court, as happy as always. That morning when Kou came over to walk to school together, Shouyou pretended he was already alright. But truth be told... he was far from it.

Shouyou was practicing his receives when he noticed Kou making his way over to him. Shouyou tensed when he was only a few feet away, but before Kou was able to say anything, their coach called for everyone to gather together. Shouyou quickly sprinted past Kou to their bench, opposite of where Aobajousai was. Shouyou wondered when they'd showed up, but he figured they must have come in when he hadn't been paying attention. He made his way into the group, making sure that Kou couldn't come and stand next to him, and his heart clenched when Kou went to stand next to Kuroo instead.

Looking away from the painful sight, Shouyou briefly glanced over at Aobajousai, noticing a somewhat familiar figure. He couldn't remember where he'd seen the boy before, but he didn't have more time to ponder, because the coach started explaining the strategy for the match. A bright smile broke onto his face, the first real smile since yesterday, when coach announced he'd be starting. But so was Kou and Kuroo, and Shouyou's joy dimmed slightly for the rest of the afternoon.

They took their places on the court after exchanging greetings and the referee blew the whistle.

The ball shot over the net.

Shouyou couldn't help but stare at Aobajousai's setter, Oikawa, Shouyou had caught his name part way through the match, even as Shouyou's team was announced the loser. He couldn't even describe it. The way Oikawa had played, he was like a monster. The fierce grace and confidence with which he conducted his team and kept everything going smoothly was in a class of its own, and his serves were so powerful. When he had served for the first time, Shouyou hadn't even realized the ball was coming, until it had hit the floor and was already behind him.

"Chibi-chan, did you fall in love with me? You're staring quite a bit!" Oikawa sang out, and Shouyou blushed crimson up to his ears when he realized that Oikawa was talking to him.

"As if!" Shouyou scoffed. Oikawa looked amazing on the court, awe-inspiring and breath-taking, but then he opened his mouth and his true personality came out. "It'd take a lot more to make me fall for anyone, you especially!"

He didn't realize his own words until some of Oikawa's teammates snickered. Shouyou blushed fiercely and turned his back on them all, feeling embarrassed even more as he stomped to the benches to get a drink. A pout never left his face.

"And what would make you fall for me, chibi-chan?" Out of nowhere Oikawa appeared at his side, making Shouyou choke on the water.

"Wh-what..." he managed between the coughs, trying to regain his breath.

"Should I perhaps serenade you?" Oikawa questioned, cocking his head to the side as he looked down at Shouyou. "Maybe take you on a walk by the ocean, while the sun sets in pinks and oranges?" Shouyou laughed, smiling slightly at the older boy, who was making a fool of himself as he swung his arms out in emphasis. "Maybe we should go dancing under the moonlight!"

"How about no," Shouyou laughed, smirking slightly at the fake hurt expression on Oikawa's face.

Shouyou started to walk away, planning to help clean up, but Oikawa continued to follow him. He could hear the setter humming slightly as they walked.

"Is chibi-chan not interested in little old me?"

"Nope!" Shouyou blurted out, smiling brightly at Oikawa.

"Ah!" The setter exclaimed, hitting his palm against his forehead before turning and pointing towards Shouyou. "Chibi-chan is in love with someone else!"

Shouyou tried to mask the hurt that flashed across his face, but he seemed to be too late, judging from how quickly the smile fell off of Oikawa's face.

"Don't," Shouyou quickly said when Oikawa opened his mouth again. "Yes, it's true, but no, I don't want to talk about it, so just don't."

He looked away, taking a deep breath when his gaze met Kou's. Yellow eyes were watching them keenly, while Kuroo was saying something, which Kou clearly ignored in order to stare at them. An idea popped into Shouyou's head, and before he could talk himself out of it, he turned and smiled at Oikawa.

"I'm not much of a moonlight and ocean type, but I wouldn't say no to a good old volleyball game," he winked and trotted off to join his teammates.

 

* * *

 

Shouyou was laying down face first on his bed when there was a light knock on his door. Figuring it was his mom he told her to come in, muffled slightly by his mattress.

"Are you going to tell me why you've been avoiding me, Shou?" Kou's voice startled Shouyou into an upright position, and he was suddenly cornered between Kou and the wall.

Kou's eyes stared into his own with determination that Shouyou had only ever seen when they played volleyball, and Shouyou couldn't help but feel nervous.

"I haven't been avoiding you."

"Bullshit," Kou growled out making Shouyou's amber eyes widen. "You've been avoiding me ever since you left school crying your eyes out. What the hell happened, Shou, why can't you just tell me?"

Shouyou could feel himself getting angry. The rational side of him was screaming that it wasn't Kou's fault, and that he didn't know how betrayed and unwanted Shouyou had felt for the past week, but the irrational side still won.

"It's none of your business, Kou, just drop it!" Shouyou growled in return, angry eyes meeting Kou's.

"You're my best friend, Shou, of course it's my business! If something's hurting you, I can't just sit back and do nothing!"

Shouyou couldn't help but let out a cynical laugh at those words, hating how much it hurt when Kou said they were friends, because Shouyou knew for certain now that that's all they'd ever be.

Shouyou's eyes burned bright when he looked back at Kou. " _You_ are what's hurting me."

Hurt flashed through Kou's eyes and Shouyou immediately felt bad for his outburst. Just as Kou was pulling away, he reached a hand and caught his arm, looking down to avoid seeing Kou's face.

"I'll be fine, just-" He paused to swallow heavily. "-just give me some time, Kou, please... I need to deal with this myself."

Shouyou closed his eyes when Kou's other hand ran through his hair, soothing. He hated how it made him feel, hated how good it was to have Kou touch him, how his heart skipped a beat even though he knew it was hopeless to love him, hated how he longed for more. But more would never come.

He let go of Kou's hand, backing off a little. The soft petting disappeared, and Shouyou hated himself for already missing it, too.

"Alright, Shou," Kou sighed, backing away to lean against Shouyou's desk.

"Thanks. I'll get myself sorted soon, Kou, don't worry," Shouyou smiled half-heartedly in Kou's direction earning himself a small smile in return.

Now all he had to do was bury these damn feelings, so they could go back to the way they were before. Shouyou didn't want to lose Kou, not because of this.

"So how about we-" Kou started but was interrupted by Shouyou's loud phone notification going off.

Kei had yelled at him far too many times for not answering, so he'd learned to keep his volume at its max. Picking up his phone, Shouyou frowned at the unknown number.

"Something wrong?" Kou asked, probably noticing his expression. Before Shouyou answered, he opened the message, and then stared.

"You remember Oikawa?" he looked up at Kou, somehow stunned. "Seijou's setter? The one with that awesome serve?"

"Yeah, what about him?" Kou's face scrunched up as he remembered.

"Apparently he got my number from someone on the team and just texted me to ask if I want to go see some volleyball game this weekend," Shouyou looked back at the text, still not believing his eyes. " 'Like a date date', he says."

Shouyou's eyes trailed back to Kou's. His heart was all conflicted. He was in love with his childhood friend. And now Oikawa was asking him out? What in the world was he supposed to do? Refuse? Yes, he should refuse.

But it was a volleyball game. Something he loved probably more than Kou. More than anything. Furthermore, it was something he had suggested himself during that short talk with Oikawa after the practice match. Never in his wildest dreams did Shouyou ever expect the other to follow through with it.

And yet he had.

Shouyou was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the sudden change on Kou's face.

"Are you going to go?" Kou asked, the tone of his voice had changed and curiously, Shouyou looked up, but Kou's face was blank and he couldn't read whatever emotion was swirling in his eyes.

Looking back at the text, Shouyou made a quick decision. He couldn't stay hung up on Kou forever, that would only cause their friendship more harm.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go," Shouyou responded to Kou's question, before typing in that he'd be happy to go with Oikawa to the match.

 

* * *

 

Bokuto knocked loudly when he came to Kuroo's apartment door. He couldn't stand sitting at home anymore, not when he knew Shouyou was on a date with Oikawa right this very second. The door opened in front of him to a surprised Kuroo. Kuroo opened his mouth to talk, but Bokuto really didn't want to talk, so he quickly pushed Kuroo into the apartment, turning him around and pushing him against the now closed door, kissing him deeply.

Kuroo kissed him back, hand sneaking into Bokuto's hair and messing it up as always. They stayed in the entranceway for a while, the sound of clothes ruffling and their shallow breaths the only thing breaking the silence of the  Kuroo's home. When Bokuto's lips trailed lower, peppering kisses along Kuroo's jaw line and down the side of his neck, Kuroo pushed him away gently.

"Not that I'm not happy about the attention," He grinned roguishly. "but what is this about all of a sudden?"

"Nothing," Bokuto murmured out, diving back in to suck on Kuroo's pulse point, before scraping his teeth along Kuroo's collarbone earning himself a groan of appreciation.

Kuroo's hands were suddenly grasping his shirt and tugging it over his head, throwing it to the ground.

"Let's pretend that's true then," Kuroo muttered before kissing him.

It wasn't like Kuroo really wanted him to stop, not at all. So for now... he'll let this slide, he thought as he pushed off the door, and pulled Bokuto down the hallway towards his bedroom, scooping up the lonely shirt from the floor.

Once inside, he threw it carelessly away, and the second one joined it soon after. Bokuto's hands travelled over his body, igniting the fire deep inside his stomach, and Kuroo couldn't help the appreciative sighs and hums. The backs of Kuroo's legs were soon pushed up against the side of his bed, and Bokuto wasted no time in pushing him backwards onto it. Kuroo's eyes raked over Bokuto's chest, wanting so desperately to touch him, mark his body so no one would question who he belonged to.

"Pant's off," Bokuto smirked down at him, as he reached for his own zipper, Kuroo watching his every motion.

The sound of zippers going down in the otherwise silent room did wonders to Kuroo's arousal, and as he was slipping out of his pants, he couldn't help palming the growing bulge in the front of his underwear, half-lidded eyes trailing down to Bokuto's white boxers. Kuroo licked his lips. The mattress dipped when Bokuto straddled his hips, teasingly grinding their lower halves together, and Kuroo reached up, fingers locking on Bokuto's hips and pulling him further down to create even more friction.

"Someone's very eager today," Kuroo teased, trailing his fingers along the edges of Bokuto's boxers before reaching inside, wrapping long fingers around Bokuto's hardening length.

Bokuto let out a groan, rocking gently into Kuroo's fist. Leaning his weight onto one arm, Bokuto snaked his hand down Kuroo's chest, briefly pausing to pinch and twist at his nipples, and Kuroo couldn't stop the stuttering moan that clawed its way up his throat when Bokuto's hand palmed him roughly through his boxers.

"Seems like you're the same, Kuroo."

"For you?" Kuroo asked with another roguish grin. "Always."

And he hated how true it was. But before his mind could go further in that direction, he reached up and pulled Bokuto into another kiss - deep and hungry. He wanted him, all of him. The strong thighs on the sides of his hips, the rough hands, calloused from the hours and hours of volleyball smashing, the bright yellow eyes clouded with pleasure, and the feeling of Bokuto's heavy length inside him. Never stopping the rhythmic motion of his hand, he used the other to pull down Bokuto's boxers and knead on the tight flesh of his perfect ass.

Breaking their kiss, Bokuto began to trail down Kuroo's chest, flicking at one of his nipples, while pinching the other between his fingers. Kuroo arched into the attention, disappointed slightly when Bokuto's mouth stopped, as he continued his way down Kuroo's body, trailing his tongue along the contours of Kuroo's stomach. Kuroo let out a shuddering breath when Bokuto's tongue traced along the edge of his boxers before Bokuto's fingers hooked into the waistband, pulling them off.

Feeling the hot breath at the base of his cock and seeing Bokuto's white head nestling between his legs, Kuroo had to take a deep breath to clear his mind a little. With a hand he pushed Bokuto's chin up, looking him in the eye.

"My mom's gonna be home soon, we don't have much time," he said, disappointed.

Bokuto pouted. For a second Kuroo thought this would be it, that he would just go into his dejected mode and leave him with a raging hard-on, but then something flashed in Bokuto's eyes - something that would have been disconcerting if Kuroo was more in the analytic mood - and Bokuto sat up.

"Turn over," he replied, patting Kuroo's hip.

Kuroo's heart beat accelerated as he heard Bokuto rummaging through his bedside table until he found what he was looking for, then the sound of a cap popping off. Kuroo flinched a little when Bokuto's lubed finger traced his pucker, but he quickly relaxed, pushing back slightly until Bokuto's finger passed the tight ring. Kuroo slowly pushed back even farther, till all of Bokuto's finger was inside of him, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. Kuroo moved forward until the finger was nearly all out, and pushed himself back onto it, slowly fucking himself on Bokuto's finger.

Bokuto hummed, kneading Kuroo's ass with his free hand before placing it next to Kuroo's head, and draping his body over Kuroo's. Kuroo loved the feeling of Bokuto's toned stomach against his back. Bokuto began to suck harshly on his shoulder, biting down slightly, as he pushed another finger inside of him. Kuroo let out a gasping moan, pausing in his movements as he adjusted to two fingers.

Between the fingers slowly pulling in and out, stretching and rubbing inside of him; the hard length of Bokuto's dick grazing over the back of his thighs as Bokuto moved behind him, making Kuroo's legs quiver at the thought of having it thrusting into him; and the sharp bites, sucks and licks, and soft kisses all over his back, shoulder blades and neck; Kuroo could honestly say that he had never wanted anyone as much as he did Bokuto. But he always wanted Bokuto, so that was nothing new.

When the third finger entered him at the same time as teeth sunk into a spot right over his shoulder bone, he groaned loudly, closing his eyes in pleasure. After a few more minutes of Kuroo pushing himself back against Bokuto's fingers, he couldn't take it anymore, he needed Bokuto's heavy, throbbing, length inside of him, thrusting roughly into him as deep as he could manage. Kuroo pulled himself off of Bokuto's fingers, and pulled Bokuto down onto the bed, straddling his waist and groaning as he ground his ass against Bokuto, loving when Bokuto's fingers gripped his waist tight enough to bruise.

Frantically, he reached out into his drawer for a condom, and pulling the package open quickly but carefully, slid it on Bokuto. He propped himself up a little, guiding Bokuto's hard cock to his entrance and then sinking down on it, wincing slightly at the pressure. The grip of Bokuto's fingers tightened almost painfully, and Kuroo relished in Bokuto's gasp that turned into a long groan that made his own cock twitch.

"Move," Bokuto almost begged, making Kuroo's lips stretch in a smirk as he started moving his hips.

Up, down, forward, back. Again. Slowly, teasingly, until the discomfort of having another guy's dick up his ass disappeared completely, leaving him pleasantly sore and filled with pleasure. Then he quickened the pace, giving up on trying to control the moans that now spilled freely from his half open mouth.

Kuroo briefly wondered how Bokuto had flipped their positions so quickly, but all coherent thought was cut off as Bokuto pushed into him roughly, hitting that spot that made him see stars with every thrust of his hips, and Kuroo couldn't contain the strangled moans that ripped their way out of his throat. Bokuto's hands were tight on Kuroo's thighs, pushing them apart to the point where it almost hurt, and when Bokuto's hot mouth descended onto Kuroo's nipple, biting harshly, Kuroo knew he wouldn't last much longer. Bokuto's thrust became erratic and rougher as they both drew closer to their release.

Kuroo was the first to come, white liquid squirting on both of their chests, as Bokuto continued pushing into him. Kuroo rode off his orgasm with Bokuto burying himself deep to the base into him, and making Kuroo whine and mewl as he hit his now oversensitive prostate. Bokuto groaned and leaned forward, hovering over Kuroo, as the muscles contracted around him and he thrust in some more - once, twice, thrice... and then he was coming, too. Sinking into the tight heat for the last time, Bokuto's fingers dug into the flesh of Kuroo's thighs, as his mouth opened in a sharp gasp of "Shou-"

Kuroo tensed, eyes widening at the name that Bokuto uttered. Said with so much love and want, no not just that. There was a need in Bokuto's voice, one so desperate that Kuroo's heart clenched, knowing that he wasn't what Bokuto needed. Wasn't who he loved, who he yearned for so desperately. Bokuto wasn't even here with him in the moment that was only supposed to be for the two of them. Kuroo was just a substitute to Bokuto, he was no one special. Bokuto didn't love him, and he probably never would.

Kuroo knew their arrangement was only that - an agreement of convenience between them, nothing more, nothing less. And maybe that's what it was for him in the beginning, but now... His heart throbbed painfully.

This whole thing started because Bokuto was in love with his childhood friend. A friend who was straight as far as they knew, and even more so, a friend who had never even dated, which led them both to think he might have been repulsed by the very idea of a relationship like theirs. At first Kuroo didn't mind the occasional slip of the tongue when they had sex - it was still sex, and free of the usual romantic bullshit and having to care for the other party afterwards, so it was more than fine with him.

And then something happened, Kuroo didn't know what, wasn't sure he even wanted to, and the calls for Hinata's name stopped. As they did, so did Kuroo's heart. Because then it was Kuroo's name on Bokuto's lips and ever since he heard it for the first time, Kuroo realized how much in love he actually was with Bokuto - his friend, his classmate and teammate, his fuck buddy. He thought that maybe... maybe they could have a chance together. Hinata would never be with Bokuto, and Bokuto would always come back to Kuroo, eventually. So maybe, just maybe...

He was a fool, Kuroo thought to himself, laying flat on his back with a heavy breathing Bokuto sprawled over his chest. As long as Hinata was around, Bokuto would never be his.

Kuroo bit his lip to stop it from trembling.

 

* * *

 

Bokuto pushed off of Kuroo, breath finally slowing down, and laid his tired body down on the bed. As soon as he moved, Kuroo got up from the bed and made his way towards the bathroom in silence. Bokuto groaned, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand as the door to the bathroom slammed shut.

Again. He did it again.

Bokuto cursed, laying his arm over his eyes. How fucking stupid was he to fall into sex just because he was frustrated about his unwanted feelings? Apparently very, since now his anger doubled in size when he thought about what Kuroo must be thinking. And the truth was, Bokuto cared about Kuroo. A lot. But only as for a friend. A very close friend, almost family, a brother... with whom he had sex. But still only a friend. The least he could do, since Kuroo was always there for him in situations like this one, was to respect him enough to use his own name while he was fucking him. It seemed though, Bokuto was unable to do even that. What a fucking joke he had become. Dry, ugly laughter bubbled out of his throat.

God, Bokuto wished he could feel that way towards Shouyou. Just friends, brothers, like how they'd started off, but no, Bokuto had to go and develop damn romantic feelings for his childhood friend. He'd tried for so long to deny that he felt anything other than friendship towards Shouyou, but after kissing his first girlfriend in middle school, and wishing desperately that it was Shouyou's lips moving against his, he'd realized there was no point in denying it.

But Shouyou wasn't interested. Every time Bokuto tried to flirt, every time Bokuto tried to lean their faces together, sling an arm a little too intimately over the other's shoulders, Shouyou would laugh it off. At first Bokuto thought that it was just the fact that he was a guy, god only knew how long it took Bokuto to realize he was gay (or not really, but for some people it took quite a while, so he thought, hoped, Shouyou was one of them).

But when they graduated from middle school, and Shouyou was still as uninterested in both girls and boys, Bokuto's heart somehow froze. He realized that the prospect of any relationship didn't look appealing to Shouyou. It wasn't Bokuto he didn't want to be with, it applied to everyone. And somehow it made Bokuto more at ease to think that he couldn't have him, but no one else could either.

It still hurt though, that longing and bottled frustration. Somewhere along the way came the sexual element, and Bokuto still vividly remembered that one night when he was sleeping over at Shouyou's house and just thrust his head in his friend's pillow, getting high on his smell alone and jerking off while Shouyou was deep asleep in the bed next to him. It felt so good, but also so lonely, that he spent the rest of the night swallowing his tears. And then Kuroo happened and some of that tension eased. For a while, short and fleeting, Bokuto may have even forgotten about his feelings for Shouyou. If this continued, he may have been able to move past them. One day...

But no, it seemed like the whole universe was out to make him suffer even more. Shouyou was going on a date with Oikawa. Shouyou wasn't repulsed by the idea of dating a guy. Most likely, Shouyou was gay. And Bokuto was as well as invisible in his spectrum. His lips stretched in a bitter smile that fell only a second later.

He could still hear the shower running in the bathroom, and he knew Kuroo wouldn't be coming out any time soon. Bokuto couldn't blame Kuroo for not wanting to see him, sure they were just sex friends, but he should at least focus solely on Kuroo. He shouldn't have come, shouldn't have taken out his frustrations through sex, but he hadn't been able to sit still at home. Not when he knew Shouyou was out with Oikawa, not when the person he'd loved and wanted for years was out with someone else.

Bokuto sat up, feeling all the negativity pinning him down. He should be relaxed after a round of good sex, but his shoulders felt as tense as when he came here, and he sighed, running a hand through his messed up hair. Before he could change his mind, he pulled on his clothes and was about to leave when his gaze lingered on the closed bathroom door.

He didn't want to go like this, Kuroo didn't deserve it. But what could he even say to him? Nothing could make up for that slip, and Bokuto knew it. Nevertheless, he turned back and left a small note on Kuroo's desk.

"I'm sorry," it said.

And Bokuto really was. For all of it.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo hung his head under the water, letting it stream through his hair, down his face and body until it continued its way down the drain. He hated how his heart clenched when his eyes set on the finger shaped bruises beginning to form on his hips, hated how all he wanted to do was turn off the shower and go back to Bokuto, lie in his arms as they did during that short, wonderful time when Bokuto only uttered his name in gasping moans.

Sighing, Kuroo turned off the water, quickly toweling himself off and wrapping the towel around his waist.

"You can use the shower-" Kuroo started saying as he left the bathroom only to cut himself off when he was met with an empty room.

An empty bed.

Kuroo couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh.

"Of course he'd leave," Kuroo muttered to himself, picking the note up off of his desk and crumpling it in his fist.

Kuroo didn't want apologies. He wanted Bokuto here, laying in his bed, laughing, joking, smiling at him and only him. And he needed to stop wanting that, he needed to stop wanting the impossible.

Kuroo's phone pinged, indicating a new message and he couldn't help but hope it was Bokuto, saying he was coming back, that he was wrong to leave like that, but of course it wasn't. It was Kenma, asking why he hadn't responded to his previous text. Kuroo didn't even think before he pressed the call button, putting the phone to his ear and waiting until the tired, questioning voice of his childhood friend was echoing in his ear.

"Kenma, I don't know what to do anymore," Kuroo spoke, hating how tired and broken he sounded.

There was a pause where Kenma didn't say anything, but the quiet breaths Kuroo heard calmed him.

"What happened?" Kenma questioned, and there was a quiet calm present in his voice. One that promised not to judge, and also promised that he'd always be there for him.

Kuroo didn't realize he was crying until the tears fell into his lap, quickly being absorbed by his towel.

 

* * *

 

Shouyou was nervous. It was his first date ever. Now okay, he met with friends a lot, but this was different. This was a _date_ date. And with a guy from another school. With a guy who was hot and confident and knew what he wanted, which was apparently Shouyou - and Shouyou was _nervous_.

Because of his feelings for Kou he never bothered to date before, no one could ever come close to Kou's smile, brightly shining eyes, cheerful voice, bubbly personality. If anyone would tell Shouyou a month ago that he would be going out on a date with someone like OIkawa, he would probably laugh in their face and call them crazy. But right now...

Right now he swallowed the nerves and smiled at his date in greeting.

"Hello, chibi-chan!" Oikawa greeted as he made his way to where Shouyou was leaning against the wall of a building.

Shouyou scowled at the pet name. "My name's Hinata Shouyou," he stated, earning himself a smile from the taller boy.

"I know that," Oikawa teased, reaching out to ruffle Shouyou's hair lightly.

Shouyou couldn't help but remember all the times Kou had done the same thing, and it must have showed on his face, because Oikawa removed his hand from Shouyou's head.

"Now now, Shou-chan, you're on a date with me! Thinking about others isn't allowed, you'll hurt my ego."

Shouyou laughed lightly at Oikawa's dramatics. "I think your ego could take a lot of damage and still be quite large, Oikawa," Shouyou teased, earning himself an offended scoff from Oikawa, who placed a hand over his heart. Shouyou ignored him, only rolling his eyes a bit at the gesture. "Shouldn't we be going? We don't want to be late," Shouyou asked, glancing at the time on his phone.

"We should!" Oikawa exclaimed, smiling brightly once again.

Grabbing hold of Shouyou's hand in his larger one, Oikawa started making his way through the crowd, dragging a crimson Shouyou along with him. It was strange, Shouyou thought, being led through the streets up to a big stadium where the match was to be held. Oikawa was so different from Kou, but somehow the air around him wasn't as tense as Shouyou expected it to be. He smiled a little at the soft hum coming from Oikawa. Maybe this was a good idea, just letting himself forget about Kou for a moment, and letting this thing with Oikawa - whatever it was - go its own way.

They neared the entrance and Oikawa showed their tickets to the guard. The excitement of volleyball already hung in the air when Oikawa held the door for him, and Shouyou was surprised at how easy it was to smile up at him. They found their seats right as the teams were warming up, and Shouyou's eyes glistened as he hungrily watched the players, leaning forward in his chair, unaware of Oikawa's pleased smile directed his way.

"That last spike was amazing! I can't believe he made it in, I thought for sure it was gonna go out of bounds!" Shouyou jumped around excitedly as they made their way to Shouyou's house. He couldn't help it, just watching volleyball made his adrenaline spike.

Oikawa chuckled from behind him, and Shouyou turned around, walking backwards in order to face him.

"Thanks or taking me, Oikawa. I had fun."

Oikawa's face brightened even more than before, and Shouyou felt his heart skip a beat. Oikawa really was good looking, and talking to him throughout the match had been fun. Being with Oikawa was fun. Shouyou felt his foot slip out from under him, not realizing that he'd backed up to a curb and he flailed, trying to catch his balance, until Oikawa grabbed hold of his arms, pulling Shouyou into his sturdy chest.

"Careful there, Shou-chan," Oikawa laughed, pulling away slightly to look down at Shouyou.

Shouyou could feel his face heating up at the close proximity, and he opened his mouth only to close it again. Oikawa was still smiling, and Shouyou was looking into his face, his own blushing fiercely, when suddenly it wasn't a smile on Oikawa's face. That quirk of lips, the glint in his warm brown eyes - it sent shivers of something (excitement? fear? apprehension? curiosity?) down his back.

And then Oikawa was leaning down, and even though Shouyou never kissed anyone before, he was sure this was what was supposed to happen now. They went on a date, and dates usually ended up with a kiss. At least the good ones did, and theirs was a good one. But... He wasn't sure he wanted to. Oikawa was amazing, he was great at volleyball, and being around him was super fun. And he was interested in Shouyou, maybe even liked him. All pros, no cons. No cons apart from... Kou.

Shouyou closed his eyes, his hands steadied on Oikawa's arms tightening a little on the material of his shirt. Before he could decide what it was that he really wanted, he felt a small peck on the top of his nose, and his eyes shot open, looking up at Oikawa in surprised wonder. The other chuckled a little, his smile back to the one that made Shouyou immediately smile back.

"Not until you're ready," Oikawa said, and Shouyou's heart skipped a beat.

In that single moment, he felt he was.

"Shou?" Kou's voice echoed through the night, startling Shouyou into jumping away from Oikawa, eyes searching, until they fell onto Kou's startlingly blank face.

"Kou, what are you doing here?" Shouyou questioned, heart beating out of his chest.

He knew he wasn't doing anything wrong, but it still felt as though he'd just been caught red-handed.

"Well, I came over to hang out. Didn't expect to see you making out with him," Kou stated, practically spitting out the words, cocking his head to the side, eyes hard and unforgiving as they looked between the two of them.

"We weren't making out," Shouyou mumbled out, blushing slightly at the implication, and also at the fact that he'd been considering it, but there was no way he'd say that, not now.

Kou scoffed making Shouyou raise his eyebrows in question. "Kissing on the first date, Shou? I didn't think you'd be that easy."

Shouyou tensed at the taunting comment, immediately feeling anger rise to the surface and replace his discomfort at being caught in Oikawa's arms.

"I will kiss whomever I like, what's it to you?!" he shouted back, face now red from anger.

How could Kou even say something like that? They were friends, shouldn't he be happy for him? He was basically calling him easy... and it hurt. Coming from anyone else, Shouyou might have brushed it off, but this was Kou. The same Kou he was in love with. Suddenly Shouyou felt like crying.

"Oh, so you like him?" Kou's voice was vibrating with anger. "Isn't that a little fast? Or, oh! Maybe it's love at first sight! How romantic!" Suddenly Kou's eyes trailed up over Shouyou's shoulder, reminding him of Oikawa's presence, about which he completely forgot in the heat of the moment. "Or do you just want to put your dick in him?" Kou hissed at Oikawa, and Shouyou gasped in shock. What was even happening here?

Oikawa opened his mouth to say something, but Shouyou held up his hand and Oikawa paused, glancing down at Shouyou, who just shook his head before looking back at Kou.

"I don't know what the hell is going on with you Kou, but don't talk like that to him," Shouyou growled out, glaring into Kou's hard eyes.

Kou's laugh came out sounding so cruel Shouyou couldn't help but take a step back, relaxing slightly when his back came in contact with Oikawa's chest.

"Of course you wouldn't know what's going on with me, apparently you're too stupid to see anything." Shouyou felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes, hating the way Kou was acting but mostly hating that somehow he was the reason.

They were friends, this worked both ways. Shouyou couldn't forgive Kou for treating Oikawa like that, but... There must have been something wrong with Kou, he wasn't normally like this. He was his friend, his best friend. They had to talk about what all of this was really about. Despite the confusion and uneasiness tearing his heart apart, Shouyou took a step towards Kou. And then another, until he was standing right before him.

"Kou, what's going on?" he asked, voice gentle, pleading. "If I did something, I'm sorry, but unless you tell me, I can't do anything about it. So just... tell me what's wrong?"

The way Kou's eyes looked - broken, pained and longing, but otherwise empty - made Shouyou's breath catch in his throat.

"You won't understand..." Kou's voice was raspy, as if he was struggling to talk. "For all the years we've known each other, you never did..."

Shouyou stared at him, desperation clutching him by the throat. "Then tell me! Explain it to me!"

"I-I can't Shou," Bokuto stammered out, eyes hardening with a resolve that scared Shouyou. "I think I just... I don't think we should be around each other anymore."

Shouyou's breath caught in his throat at the quiet words, and he stepped forward, opening his mouth to say something, anything, but he couldn't form any words, not until Kou stepped back, flashing a pained smile before turning around and walking away.

"Kou!" Shouyou shouted, finally snapping out of his daze, but Kou didn't turn around, just kept getting further and further away from him. Shouyou was about to run after him, demand to know what the hell was going on, but a hand on his arm stopped him, and he turned his head towards a solemn faced Oikawa.

"You shouldn't go after him now Shou-chan," Oikawa said, pulling Shouyou closer to him. Oikawa cupped his face, wiping away the tears Shouyou hadn't realized were falling. "Right now you both need to cool off, you can talk later, okay?"

Shouyou nodded his head blankly, mind still reeling at what had happened. Shouyou couldn't help but lean into Oikawa's hand, feeling comfortable and safe. Oikawa pulled him closer, and Shouyou looped his arms around Oikawa's waist, emotions finally overflowing as he sobbed in Oikawa's comforting arms.

 

* * *

 

"Oh, shut up, will you?" Shouyou punched Kei's arm, even though he was chuckling too. "Oikawa may be a drama queen at times-" Kei sent him a pointed look, which had Shouyou rolling his eyes with a smile. "-okay, more than at times, but he makes me laugh! He's really, really good for me, you know?" he ended with a soft light entering his eyes.

Kei only hummed to show he was listening. "Good for you then," he replied, but even though his words were what one would usually associate with some ill intent or indifference, Kei's were sincere.

Shouyou smiled at him one of his dazzling smiles, making Kei look away with a grimace, which in turn made Shouyou laugh more. They continued their way down the hallway, Shouyou smiling non-stop, nervous butterflies in his stomach, knowing that Oikawa was coming to pick him up soon.

"So, you and Bokuto are still not talking?" Kei questioned as gently as Shouyou had ever heard.

Shouyou's smile faltered at the question as he shook his head in answer to Kei's question. They hadn't talked for two months, not once since that night. Shouyou had caught glimpses of him, but that had been it, and frankly Shouyou didn't know what to do. He hated that a part of him was relieved, relieved that he'd been given a chance to get over Kou, and he had for the most part. Shouyou knew a part of him would probably always love Kou, but he could definitely say that he loved Oikawa, he knew he did, and he was happy.

But Kou was his friend. Even now, when they weren't speaking and Shouyou was trying to move on from loving him, they were friends. He just didn't know how to talk to Kou all of a sudden. They never had an argument like that before, they'd never gone for so long without speaking to each other. It just seemed... weird. And this weird kept Shouyou from reaching out to his best friend.

"He'll get past it," Kei suddenly said, regaining his attention. "He's probably just uneasy because you started dating." Shouyou hummed, not entirely sure this was the case. But he smiled at Kei in thanks. "Speaking of which..." Kei nudged him in the side, pointing towards the gate where Oikawa stood, looking through his phone.

Shouyou's grin widened. A wild thought had him pulling his own phone out, and typing a quick message, "Look up." They were a few steps away when Oikawa read his text and smiled charmingly, brown eyes meeting Shouyou's amber ones. Kei only rolled his eyes when Shouyou stepped forward to kiss Oikawa in greeting.

"Gross," he said, turning away to leave.

Shouyou laughed a happy little laugh. "Yup, see you tomorrow, grumpy pants!"

"Remind me, why am I even friends with you?" Kei raised an eyebrow at him.

"Because you like me, obviously," Shouyou grinned.

"Obviously," Kei repeated, his face grimaced in distaste, but eyes twinkling with amusement. "Right. See you tomorrow, short stuff."

Shouyou pouted for a second, but then he turned to Oikawa and all his bad mood withered away at the smile that was sent his way. If this was what relationships felt like, he was an idiot for resisting them for so long. Shouyou stole another kiss from Oikawa's waiting lips.

 

* * *

 

Bokuto grimaced, watching Shouyou approach a waiting Oikawa, smiling like the sun at him. His breath caught in his throat when Shouyou pulled Oikawa into a kiss, and he quickly looked away not wanting to see any more. Bokuto noticed Kuroo making his way over to him, and he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. They hadn't talked much since _that_ night, and losing both Shouyou and Kuroo at the same time hit him hard.

He smiled, one of the recently rare true smiles.

"Yo," he said as Kuroo came to stand next to him. "What's up?"

He noticed Kuroo looking out the same window he had just seconds ago, and he knew the other was able to read him perfectly. Bokuto's smile wavered, but he kept it up. Until his eyes locked with Kuroo's. Kuroo wasn't a ball of joy like Shouyou, he wasn't all smiles and cheerfulness like him. There were times when he was dark and brooding, but what Bokuto saw in his eyes in that moment wasn't that. It was something much more intimate, much more... painful.

Bokuto waited, not knowing what to say, not when Kuroo had that look in his eyes.

"Bokuto Koutarou, I'm in love with you," Kuroo stated, unwavering, as he stared into Bokuto's eyes. "And I know you don't love me, I knew when we first started this thing."

Bokuto didn't know how to respond, didn't know what to do in a situation like this. He should have known, should've been able to see it in the way Kuroo acted around him, but he hadn't and he'd hurt his friend. Again. Fuck, why did he always mess everything up? Bokuto opened his mouth to say something, anything, to get that painful look off of Kuroo's face, but Kuroo just raised his hand to stop him.

"I just wanted to tell you that I can't-" Kuroo paused, looking away from his eyes and taking a breath.

No, no, no, he was losing him. Losing his friend. He couldn't lose Kuroo, not after losing Shouyou, but Bokuto couldn't speak, words sticking in his throat.

"I just can't do this anymore, Bokuto. Sorry."

Bokuto stood frozen, watching Kuroo turn away from him.

"Kuroo, wait!" he reached for the other's arm, but stopped, fingers merely inches from Kuroo's body.

Kuroo looked over his shoulder, something like hope flickering in his eyes and then dying, squashed like a fly against the wall. Bokuto swallowed heavily, feeling like the whole universe was crushing down on him.

"I'm sorry," he said, voice barely a whisper. "I'm sorry," he repeated. And again, "I'm sorry..."

 

* * *

 

Oikawa unlocked the door to his house, opening it to let Shouyou in before him, unable to stop himself from staring at his boyfriend's ass, when Shouyou bent down to take off his shoes. Shouyou chose that moment to glance over his shoulder, laughing as Oikawa's eyes quickly flicked up to his face, but clearly not fast enough. Oikawa just hummed, winking at Shouyou who blushed an adorable shade of red, and removed his own shoes.

"When are your parents getting home?" Shouyou asked, probably innocently, but Oikawa smirked to himself.

"In a few hours, we have time."

Once they entered his room, he was about to ask if his boyfriend - oh how he liked the sound of that - wanted anything to drink, but when he looked around for Shouyou, and found him stretching lazily on his bed, any thoughts of that disappeared from his head replaced by a different kind of thirst. Hungrily taking in every inch of the tanned skin of Shouyou's stomach that showed up when his shirt rolled up, Oikawa sauntered over to the bed.

Before he could make a move though, amber eyes locked with his.

"Come here," Shouyou patted the space next to him. "I am in a dire need of cuddles."

Oikawa chuckled, the predatory glint disappearing from his eyes in a single blink. Only Shouyou was able to do that, stow his arousal before he could act on it, and replace it with warm feeling of love and acceptance. Surprisingly, Oikawa didn't mind at all.

"My, aren't we demanding today," he hummed, getting into bed with a smile.

Oikawa pulled Shouyou flush against him and Shouyou hitched one of his legs over Oikawa's, bringing them even closer together. Soft hair tickled his chin and Oikawa nuzzled into it, smelling Shouyou's strawberry shampoo, one that Natsu had picked out for him. Shouyou's hands began soothing circles against Oikawa's chest and he hummed in contentment, closing his eyes, only to open them again as Shouyou's hands dipped lower, teasing along the edge of his pants. Soft fingers brushed under his shirt at the taut skin of Oikawa's abdomen and he felt himself hardening already. Reaching out, he caught Shouyou's hand with his own, and amber eyes snapped up to meet his own half-lidded eyes.

"If you keep doing that, we're going to end up doing more than just cuddling, Shouyou."

Amber eyes glinted mischievously and Oikawa's pants tightened further, oh how he loved when Shouyou gave him that look.

"But of course you already knew that," Oikawa finished with a smirk. "I'm surprised that people think you to be naïve and innocent. You're a little vixen, aren't you?" Oikawa leaned in, speaking against Shouyou's mouth.

"What if I said it's you who brings it out in me?" Shouyou replied, lips quirked in a smile that was far too close to a smirk to calm Oikawa's arousal this time. He chuckled darkly.

"Then I'd say I'm one lucky guy to have you around."

And then he joined their lips, a kiss slow but heated, Shouyou's hand returning under his shirt to stroke the taut muscles of his stomach.

"Damn right you are," Shouyou murmured against his lips before pulling back, smirking at him slightly as he situated himself on Oikawa's lap, grinding his ass against the growing bulge in his pants. Shouyou looked at him through half-lidded amber eyes, and Oikawa knew for a fact that he was lucky as hell.

"Tease," Oikawa laughed, grabbing onto Shouyou's hands, bringing them to rest by his head. Shouyou smirked down at him, pecking the tip of Oikawa's nose. Oikawa laughed and Shouyou's eyes lit up, smiling the same bright smile that had Oikawa immediately falling in love when he'd first met him.

Sneaking his arms around Shouyou's waist, Oikawa flipped them around, smiling at the surprised giggle that left his boyfriend's mouth. He kissed him again, with all the love and affection he could muster, relishing in the feeling of arms tugging him closer by the shoulders. But then the hands were tugging on his shirt, and they broke apart for him to pull it off. Shouyou sat up, fingers running over his chest and abs, carelessly - or not really, judging by the glint in the heated amber eyes - flicking his nipples, and then going down and down, and Oikawa closed his eyes giving in to the feeling.

Suddenly hands were on his shoulders and Shouyou was pushing him back onto the bed, reclaiming his original position, smiling slightly before dipping his head to Oikawa's chest, tongue following the path he'd made with his fingers. Oikawa groaned, hands clenching at the bedspread as Shouyou's tongue began to trace the contours of his stomach, dipping briefly into his bellybutton, before continuing down and running along the edge of his pants. Oikawa was achingly hard at this point, and so desperate for some kind of friction that he couldn't help the strangled moan that ripped itself out of his mouth when Shouyou palmed him through his pants. Shouyou nipped at the flesh of Oikawa's hips, continuing to rub him as he made his way back up Oikawa's body to suck harshly on his collarbone, before mashing their lips together in a heated kiss.

"You're so aggressive today, Shou-chan," Oikawa smirked, running a hand down his boyfriend's back. He noticed how amber eyes half-closed in pleasure.

"I'm just in the mood," Shouyou replied, leaning in for another kiss to which Oikawa happily obliged.

With both his hands he cupped Shouyou's clothed butt, which fit so perfectly in his hands, and pulled him down and forward, simultaneously raising his hips to grind their erections together. They both moaned, and continued moving at a slow pace, Shouyou's forehead resting on Oikawa's, breathing into each other's mouth with every gasp.

Shouyou moaned again as Oikawa thrust up sharply, and Oikawa quickly flipped their positions, lifting the hem of Shouyou's shirt over his head and throwing it on the floor. He stared down at Shouyou laying beneath him. Running his fingers along taut, tan skin, he could hear Shouyou's breath catch in his throat as his fingers traveled lower and lower until they reached their destination. Oikawa ran his fingers over the bulge in Shouyou's pants, loving the noises Shouyou made at the attention, before reaching to undo his pants and slide them down Shouyou's legs, leaving him in only his dark blue boxers.

He spread Shouyou's knees wide apart and then bowed his head just a little to suck on the thigh that should be lean and tiny, seeing as Shouyou was of very small built, but instead was heavy and flexing with muscles under his tongue. Oikawa kissed the warm skin, mouth moving lower and lower with every nip. He sucked a few hickeys, loving the way Shouyou writhed and whined underneath him. Oikawa hovered over the straining bulge of Shouyou's crotch and looked up briefly to see the burning amber eyes follow his every move. Suddenly his pants felt way too tight, but Oikawa ignored it in favour of swooping down and mouthing at Shouyou's cock through the fabric of his boxers.

Shouyou gasped, back arching off of the bed as Oikawa mouthed at his cock, feeling the material dampen. Oikawa stopped his ministrations to hook his fingers in the waistband of Shouyou's boxers, quickly pulling them down his legs before swooping back down, and licking teasingly from the base of Shouyou's cock to the tip before slipping Shouyou into his mouth. Shouyou's hands came to rest in his hair, pulling slightly as he writhed beneath Oikawa.

"Tooru," Shouyou moaned, fingers tightening further as Oikawa flicked his tongue across the head of Shouyou's cock, before pulling himself off of Shouyou to rummage through his bedside table for his strawberry scented lube.

Shouyou had laughed when he'd brought it out the first time, and then blushed crimson when Oikawa told him he'd bought it, because it smelled just like his shampoo, so it was easier to imagine Shouyou was with him when he wasn't. Oikawa squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers, making sure to coat them thoroughly before gently pushing one finger against Shouyou's pucker, waiting for Shouyou to relax, before slowly pushing in one knuckle at a time. Oikawa watched Shouyou's face for any discomfort, and finding none, he began to move the finger gently in and out of Shouyou's tight hole, using his other hand to slowly pump at Shouyou's cock earning him quiet mewls of appreciation.

Soon he was pushing three fingers into Shouyou, who was writhing on the bed, not bothering to quiet his moans, and Oikawa's pants grew increasingly tight when Shouyou looked at him, amber eyes pleading for more.

To be fair, Oikawa wanted to feel Shouyou's hands on him more. He wanted to be the one to be teased and manhandled from time to time. But he knew Shouyou was still a little shy, a little embarrassed about the whole thing, so he didn't ask him to put his condom on. Instead, he slipped off the bed and real fast got rid of both his pants and underwear, his throbbing cock finally springing free. He quickly put the gum on, and when he looked up, Shouyou's eyes were certainly glistening with arousal.

"Like what you see?" he asked, smirking and crawling back onto the bed and between Shouyou's legs, which parted for him willingly.

"You have no idea," Shouyou's ears reddened, and Oikawa couldn't help but lean in for a kiss.

With his tongue in the other's mouth, he positioned himself at Shouyou's entrance, but waited.

"Don't be a tease," Shouyou whined against his lips, pushing onto his cock a little.

Oikawa chuckled, and then slowly, in order not to hurt his boyfriend, pushed in. Shouyou's back arched of the sheets, hands tightening almost painfully on Oikawa's shoulder. He looked beautiful, flushed skin, closed eyes, parted, gasping mouth. Oikawa's hand travelled down to Shouyou's cock.

Shouyou arched into his hand, stifling a moan with his own. Oikawa wasn't having any of that, he wanted to hear every sound that passed through those kiss-reddened lips, so he grabbed hold of Shouyou's hands, pinning them to the bed with his free hand as he slowly pulled out of Shouyou and thrust back in, ripping a groan from him, before Oikawa kissed him deeply, tasting every inch of his mouth as he continued his slow pace. Shouyou gasped against his mouth when Oikawa hit his prostate and Oikawa made sure to hit that spot with each of his quickening thrusts. Somewhere in between, he let go of Shouyou's hands, and dull nails clawed at his shoulders, and Oikawa groaned, loving the sensation.

Oikawa moved from Shouyou's lips down to his neck, nipping and kissing and sucking, leaving marks all over it as Shouyou rewarded him with the most thrilling sounds that made the heat of their bodies almost too much to bear. Shouyou's thighs came around him as he crossed his ankles behind Oikawa, heels digging into the small of Oikawa's back and pushing him even further in. Oikawa groaned when Shouyou scratched his nails down his back, but the rawness of the sensation was enough to turn his thrusts into frantic slamming of skin against skin as he neared the edge. Judging from Shouyou's moans, he was close too, so Oikawa blindly reached down to jerk him off and then...

The muscles clamped around him and Shouyou's back arched off the sheets, crying out his name as the hot white liquid spilled over his fingers, but Oikawa couldn't care less. The feeling of hot tightness sent him over the edge right then, and he came with a final thrust and a groan, Shouyou's name spilling out of his lips.

Oikawa came down slowly from his orgasm, gasping harshly against Shouyou's neck before pulling himself out of Shouyou's tight heat, and throwing the used condom into the wastebasket. Exhausted, Oikawa laid next to Shouyou, pulling him gently into his arms and kissing the top of his head.

"Love you," Oikawa murmured, tilting Shouyou's face up towards his own to lightly peck Shouyou's nose, earning him a tired, but happy, smile.

"Love you too, Tooru," Shouyou sighed, staring at him with so much affection swimming in his amber eyes, that Oikawa's breath caught in his throat.

Oikawa smiled softly as Shouyou's eyes fell shut, breath evening out as he slowly succumbed to sleep, and Oikawa lifted Shouyou up so that he could get the covers over their bodies. Once under the covers, Shouyou sleepily nestled further into Oikawa's arms, and Oikawa could feel his eyes getting heavier as he listened to Shouyou's steady breathing, until they finally fell shut.

 

* * *

 

It was almost every day now that Bokuto watched Shouyou leave practice and meet up at the gate with Oikawa, and felt his heart tug in longing. He wanted him, still. But seeing Shouyou so happy, he just couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. Because he was no one to him now, not even a friend. And that, to be completely honest, hurt more than all those years of loving Shouyou in secret. Bokuto just wanted his friend back. If they weren't meant to be together, he wanted at least that, if Shouyou was still inclined to offer it to him.

Surprised at the sudden knock on his bedroom door Bokuto went to open it, eyes widening as they landed on his childhood friend.

"Shou?" Bokuto breathed out, heart thudding harshly at coming face to face with Shouyou after two months of only seeing him from a distance.

"Kou, can we talk?" Shouyou tentatively smiled up at him and Bokuto nodded his head, stepping aside to let Shouyou into his room.

Shouyou sat down in his desk chair and Bokuto sat on his bed, silently waiting for the other to speak.

"I-I miss you, Kou," Shouyou whispered out, barely audible enough for Bokuto to hear it, but he did, and it sent his heart in even more of a frenzy than before.

"Me too, Shou," Bokuto said after a long pause from Shouyou.

Amber eyes finally met his again, and they were filled with so much hope that Kou could barely stare into them, but he wouldn't look away, not after two months of not being able to look into Shouyou's beautiful eyes.

"Can we talk again? Can we go back to being friends? I hate not being able to talk to you, Kou."

Bokuto's heart dropped when Shouyou said friends, but he knew that was all they'd ever be. He's seen how happy Oikawa made him, how unbreakable their bond was, and Bokuto wouldn't do anything to jeopardize a relationship that made Shouyou so happy. He'd bury his feelings, he'd move on, he'd rather be only friends than nothing at all.

"Yeah, Shou," Bokuto smiled, infinitely happy to have Shouyou's brilliant smile directed at him again.

Shouyou stood up and looked at him a little uncertainly, raising his arms. "Can I get a hug then?" he smiled a little, and Bokuto's throat suddenly tightened.

He treated Shouyou so badly the last time they spoke, he basically called him a slut, when he knew perfectly well that Shouyou has never dated anyone before. And yet here he was, his best friend, still wanting to be his friend, still wanting to talk to him. No wonder Bokuto was so much in love with him.

But no more, he promised himself, stepping forward to envelop the smaller teen into a tight embrace. He would get over this, Bokuto swore.

"I missed you so much, Kou." Shouyou's arms around him felt so liberating and for the first time in months Bokuto relaxed fully.

"I missed you too, Shou," he whispered into orange hair. "You have no idea."

And he didn't plan on letting that happen ever again.

 

* * *

 

"Kou!" Bokuto heard Shouyou shout across the gym, and he turned his head to see Shouyou excitedly jumping up and down next to one of the new first years. "Come here already, idiot!" Shouyou yelled, a few of the first years murmured about the lack of respect Shouyou showed their captain, but Bokuto just smiled and made his way over to where his friend was.

His friend. Bokuto liked the sound of that. So many things have changed between them in a course of a year, but Bokuto was glad for everything that happened. It made him open his eyes and see clearly. And now that it was spring again, and the time for another batch of rowdy first years to come, Bokuto was excited to start anew (okay, he was excited because he was made captain, but that was just all the more reason to be excited, so Bokuto was, end of discussion).

Shouyou and Oikawa were still happily together, and more often than not Bokuto had found himself smiling as he watched the two be still as disgustingly over each other as ever. From time to time, he felt a pang of regret at the thought that it could be him laughing with Shouyou, but then those brilliant amber eyes turned to him and he was alright again. They were friends and that was all Bokuto wanted (minus the details of Shouyou and Oikawa's sex life, because that was just... gross).

The situation with Kuroo was under control as well. After the confession, it took some time getting used to it, but they did try to date. And... they both realized that they could never be in love with each other. Never truly in love, in romantic love. Because they were in friendship love, ever since that day they met in volleyball practice all those years before, and that's what they chose to stay. In friendship love, the brotherly love, just two guys appreciating each other's company.

The sex matter was a little harder to resolve, since from time to time it happened even now, but there were no hard feelings afterwards, and most importantly - no slip ups with names, it was just them relieving the stress of their bodies, nothing and no one else coming between them. And that worked for them both perfectly.

"What's up?" Bokuto asked, coming to stand next to Shouyou, who was bouncing on the steps of the gym.

"Look, another of our first years!" Shouyou pointed excitedly to a boy nearly as tall as Bokuto himself.

His hair was dark and wild, slightly curly, and looking incredibly cute. Eyes were dark and disinterested, but somehow Bokuto knew that it was only a look, he could feel the real passion burning below the surface. Just then the boy opened his mouth, "Hello, my name is Akaashi Keiji."

And Bokuto Koutarou fell in love harder than he could ever learn to spike a volleyball.

**Author's Note:**

> me and iris should not be allowed to write together, cry if you agree


End file.
